Recipe: The Get Up & Go…to the Couch Breakfast

oat-2775006_1920Alright, our first Apocalypse Meal!  We’re a little over a week into self-isolating in most places, and here in NY, we’re a couple of days into the shelter-in-place order, which is going…well, it’s going.  That’s about all that can be said at this point, and since we’re all participating in the going together, separately, I’ve decided that I’m GOING to go nuts in this tiny fox den if I don’t stay busy and away from the news.  So, let’s dig in!

But, I mean, I’ve already started clocking the exact minute the sunlight changes in each window for maximum vitamin D exposure.

Just saying.

And, I’ve started referring to the pigeons that visit my kitties in the window as “beautiful birds.”

That’s cool.

And, I’ve buffed the hardwood floor into a slippery death trap with my socks from all of the pacing back and forth.  But, it’s fine.  It will all be fine.  Totally made the decision to stay in our studio apartment for a couple of years with something LIKE THIS in mind.  Who needs space anyway?  Not me!!  NOT.  ME.  Definitely the right decision…no regrets whatsoever…

I can literally feel the walls closing in…

But, I’m still smiling!  No, really, I am.  It’s actually not that bad, all things considered.  I’m incredibly grateful to be safe in my own home, to be healthy, and to have this time to slow down and focus on the things that actually matter in life.  Plus, I have an extremely overactive imagination keeping me occupied, a book to finish editing, and a script to finalize.  So really, I couldn’t even tell you what day it is.  I’m allowing myself to just dig in, and get lost in the thick of timelines, foreign locations, and character dissections, which for me is best given the ever-present situation unfolding outside of my window, as I sit comfortable and humbled just two blocks away from the endless stream of sirens pulling up to the hospital entrances.

The reality of the situation is not lost on me at all.  I just know that for my own mental stability it’s time to focus on how I can contribute, at least in some small way, and that’s through the creation of art that provides escapism and catharsis.  That’s how I’m going to get through this, anyway.  And now, I’m going to prove to you that you can make it through this too!

So, back to the kitchen!

I figured for many, at least those who have reached out, we’re going to have to ease into the idea of “cooking.”  Thus, we come to our first Apocalypse Meal – Oatmeal.  It requires oats and water.  That’s pretty much it.  Now, you’re going to have to boil or heat that water, so careful now.  Warm with strict supervision if you’re a first-timer.  I know, I know, we’re all adults here, but you’re not invincible Karen!  What did we learn about heating objects last time?  That’s right, the sh*t gets hot, and you can get burned, and no, now is not the time to find an excuse to land back in your favorite ER doctor’s lap.  They’re kind of busy, and you’re 30.  Time to learn some harsh lessons in adulting.

While some people cringe at the idea of eating an off-colored, warm, mushy substance that resembles the infamous fictional concoction, Polyjuice potion, the fact is that oatmeal is a perfect doomsday, and well, every day breakfast.  Not only are oats incredibly nutritious and have a long shelf life, they can even be delicious and something to look forward to each morning as many of us face real-life versions of Groundhog Day.  You just have to build your flavor profile.

Depending on personal taste, the more you add the more exciting, delicious, and well, healthy those bored oats can become.  My personal take – less is more.  But, that could be tied to a rather unpleasant experience with old man hot cereal I was fed a few years back…excessive doesn’t even describe the mess this dude put in front of me!  But like, we get it, you’re into the emaciated look.  Just leave me and my tortured body out of it!

For those who don’t wish to be taken down by a bowl of rabbit food or wish to start rationing that oh-so-violently acquired TP early (I still don’t get it!  Really???  You may have bigger problems if you’re Googling this alleged TP-per-household calculator.  Just saying), a simple oat creation is a great way to get a protein, nutrient-rich meal in at the beginning of the day.  Simple is good, and simple is still healthy, filling and tasty.

My go to is a serving of cooked oatmeal with a tablespoon of peanut or almond butter, a chopped apple, and cinnamon.  It’s kind of like having a healthy little dessert!  And, how could you not be down with that idea?


Literally anyone can make this.  Even if you’ve never stepped foot in your kitchen, you can make this breakfast.   Instead of steel cut oats cooked over the stove, just get some instant one-minute oats, add water, and microwave.  The most complicated thing about this recipe is slicing the apple.  So, if you’re afraid of those shiny pointy things in your drawer, I don’t know, just bite and spit the pieces out into the bowl.  Shake the cinnamon bottle on top, and you’ve done it!  You’ve cooked your first meal of the day!   You’re going to survive!

Now, put the coffee on (if you have questions on that…we’ll talk), and enjoy!



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